it's a rainy weekend again. i kinda don't like too much rain, it's spoiling my plans.

anyway, there's been a lot of good things ... and of course bad things going on. but i'd rather be thankful that i'm still breathing than complain and be sad.

my father got out of jail last saturday ... and our relationship got even worst. he now thinks that we totally don't care about him just because he's not a good dad.

i hope he'd learn his lesson and be more cautious driving. i think he beat the red light and hit someone. thankfully the kid is still alive.

i still love my dad. and it's okay if he doesn't love me back. i hope he reads this and know that i was about to visit him this week but then it's too late because he's already released at that time. i thought he'd be there for more than a day. and i'm so sorry i was busy and tired tryingto keep up with my two jobs. i hope you understand i need to work to make a living for the family. if you ever decide to come back home, it's fine so long as you promise to leave that woman.

i don't think you'd ever read this. you don't know how to use a computer. so there. i'm just thinking out loud, so loud that you won't hear anything from me. i'm hurting, yes. but i won't show you. i need to be strong. you're teaching me how to be strong and of course you're not aware of it. i'm still thankful you're my dad. i wouldn't be who i am today if not for you.

i'm having a weekend. a real one.

but i can't run because it's raining so i'll just stay home all day.

I love holidays and long weekends.

I and other batchmates will be on our third week of nesting, we need to undergo nesting for a month and after that is the verdict whether we'll go to production or not. Goodluck naman diba.

Training is fun, no pressure and no worries. All you  do is act like a sponge and absorb everything. I miss the jeopardy game when we had to cheer, dance and sing. And oh, the trainer forgot to give the prize for our team. Dang. She broke her promise.

I realized work can be less tiring if you have a love life in the work place. That person can motivate you. But I reached to point when I made him the only reason for going to the office. I almost forgot I was there to learn, to work and to be productive for the company.
 
I can't say I pushed him away, I just told him I'll support him whatever he decides. With him, I learned to face scarry thoughts and just let go. I feared he might go back to Seatte or somewhere else. Oh well, it was his decision to leave. God has a reason why He let that person resign, He knows I'm about to fall in love so deeply to a wrong person.

I liked him. What did I like about him? hmm... he's huggable. He makes me laugh with his crazy jokes and when he makes a funny face. I like tickling him when he's driving. I like it when he begs "No, please no I'm driving......" He's like a child, really.

We both tried to work out our relationship after his resignation, but I guess we're just not meant to be. I don't regret giving him a chance though. 

I missed him even though he deleted me on facebook.

I'm over him. This is going to be the last blog about him.

Three good looking guys are hitting on me, an American, a Fil-Am, and a Filipino. I'm not racist but I just notice something. Americans are straight forward and fast. The American guy asked me out for a beer. Beer? Why not tea? Haha. You'd always get a no if you don't research.

The Fil-Am gets obviously nervous when he tries to talk to me. I don't know, I just feel it whenever a guy is nervous. He made me smile when he tried speaking in "wala", it's Tagalog word for nothing.

The Filipino one, I don't know. One co-trainee just noticed he likes me. He's a dead kid, he does nothing.

I'm giving my heart a break. No dating of co workers until further notice, or until they do something noticeable.

 

 

i like being with him, he makes me feel secured. i love the way he holds my hand

it's the most romantic weekend so far. he took me to san miguel by the bay and we just walked.... the weather is not really good, it's usually windy but tonight is humid so we left the place after half an hour. we drove for like an hour but it's okay...

my coworker asked me how we get along. she doesn't see anything in common between me and him, we're totally opposite.

i honestly don't know. i don't like guys with tats, but he's an exception.

he's getting more tattoos and i told him it doesn't look good anymore... err

it's my mother's birthday!

she teaches by example
the greatest thing she taught me is respect
to respect God
to respect other people's time
to respect people even when they do you bad

i love her

It was my first time attending a parenting workshop and who says it's only for people with kids. Nah ah. It's also for single ladies and gents who are aspiring to have kids. I couldn't participate on discussions that much though, but my sole intention was to listen.

From what I was hearing, parenting is not easy. I think that's the reason why my father stopped being one. He signed and gave us an unseen resignation letter. God knows I forgive him every single day. I love him and I'm praying that one day he'd come back home in good condition. If not, we'd still welcome him with wide open arms.

Being a parent is a lifetime career, once a parent, always a parent. It's something I wanna be good at when the right time comes.

I like this poem:

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again

Diane Loomans

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd teach less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.

To my future children:

Dad and Mom are still enjoying unmarried life so stay put. We'll do our bestest to be good parents to you.

To the future father of my future children:

If I'd be given a second life, I'd like to be your daughter.